birthing class -OR- hippy love session #1 -OR- rose colored glasses

our first of six birthing classes was last Wednesday.  and, yes, i have taken the past five days to process.  i'll begin with my vision of what i expected.  dave and i sitting rubbing my belly, talking about all of the wonderful parts of pregnancy, meeting our fellow classmates and hearing their baby stories.  maybe we'd get into the labor thing a tad, and words referencing private parts would be used sparingly.  love is in the air, and some trippy music is low in the background.  i was wearing this beautiful purple suede coats of my moms from 1965.  so, now on to what really happened.  

everyone was late, because no one could find the yoga studio, so tensions were a tad high. thankfully we have our friends Mandi and Keith in class with us, so we can discuss all post-class.  it also, as Dave pointed out, gets your friendship to a new level when you spend six weeks discussing your wife's vagina with each other.  and that's pretty much how the story begins... 

we were all invited to sit on yoga bolsters for the next hour and a half.  i was beyond excited to be introduced into this new world of all things natural labor.  the teachers julie (our doula) and katie, started out the introductions and were very serious.  they explained... the first session would be a game (seriously?  game it was not.) in which we would all get a set of index cards with solutions and they would pose situations (labor situations of course) for us to respond to.  it's kind of like in a math class when they say we are going to start off with a 'pop-quiz' just to see where everyone is in their studies.  read: to gauge how bad off y'all are and expose our weakest links.  

the first situation : you lost your mucus (throw-up in mouth) plug.  now, for some of you this could be normal language.  for me and the rest of you, this made me gag and i tried not to throw up.  from here forward we'll refer to it as MP.  one of our classmates said, "well, i'd just put it back in."  and I nodded in agreement, right.  something falls out, you put it back in.  as the rest of the class (doulas included and my lovely husband) found it hysterical.  to this very moment, I still do not know what an MP is, and lack the maturity to have a discussion about.  (self, go to dictionary.com for definition in privacy of own home)  at this point I realized that I have lots, make that HEAPS to learn.  that was drilled into my head when i didn't understand the whole dilation-effacing-contraction thing that followed.  

the one card that i did have in my pile was : PRETEND YOU CAN'T HEAR.  perfect, can i use that card at this very moment?  now was this a card in my pile a coincidence?  i think not.  Mandi later said it 'was a psychological moment of you gripping the card in your hands for three rounds of the game.'  in the short time we've know one another, she knows me very well. 

later in the session, Julie was discussing the idea of being open to birth.  she's right.  you need to be open to it, and right now i am not.  she said a lot of women go through this and think i want a natural birth and their subconscious mind says - no, not really, just take the drugs.  and folks, if there had been drugs available at birthing session #1, I wouldn't have thought twice.  and over the last few days, my conscious and sub-conscious minds have been having lots of chats over coffee and lunch, etc.  

so over the last five days, i have done lots of reading.  i am not scared of labor, i am just uneducated.  knowledge is power, got it.  now i just have to start imparting knowledge on myself.  and having dave impart some of his medical know-how on me.  

send me good labor loving, birthing class 2 is in t-minus 48 hours.

XOXO